The Googins
Words by David & Judy Googins
The Renewal of a Lifetime
One of the classes regularly offered at Marvin is Re|engage. Re|engage is discipleship-based enrichment for every marriage – the healthy, the struggling, and the broken. This ministry draws married couples to the church, giving them a safe place to move toward oneness through small groups, teaching, and stories of hope. This class has impacted the lives of many Marvin couples, including David and Judy Googins.
David and Judy were friends in high school and got reacquainted at their 20-year reunion after both were previously married and divorced. They “hit it off” at the reunion and, after a six-month Dallas/Houston relationship, were married. “We each brought our history and emotional baggage into the marriage. We both had careers and had come from dysfunctional families.” Judy also had three children, one of which had recently taken his own life. David’s parents were alcoholics, as was Judy’s father. David learned at an early age “to avoid conflict by stealth, humor, or answering every question except the one actually asked.” He comments, “That trait does not work well in a marriage.” Judy’s childhood was scarred by her parents’ divorce and conflict over child custody; thus, she didn’t talk about trauma or emotional issues with her parents.
Judy and her children moved to Houston, where she started a private practice, had a new baby, and moved again with David’s job. “I didn’t realize the impact my job responsibilities would have on our marriage”, David explained. “Over the years Judy and I became more distant and disconnected, but we both still loved each other.”
David and Judy were friends in high school and got reacquainted at their 20-year reunion after both were previously married and divorced. They “hit it off” at the reunion and, after a six-month Dallas/Houston relationship, were married. “We each brought our history and emotional baggage into the marriage. We both had careers and had come from dysfunctional families.” Judy also had three children, one of which had recently taken his own life. David’s parents were alcoholics, as was Judy’s father. David learned at an early age “to avoid conflict by stealth, humor, or answering every question except the one actually asked.” He comments, “That trait does not work well in a marriage.” Judy’s childhood was scarred by her parents’ divorce and conflict over child custody; thus, she didn’t talk about trauma or emotional issues with her parents.
Judy and her children moved to Houston, where she started a private practice, had a new baby, and moved again with David’s job. “I didn’t realize the impact my job responsibilities would have on our marriage”, David explained. “Over the years Judy and I became more distant and disconnected, but we both still loved each other.”
Both David and Judy decided it was time to fix the distance and disconnect in their marriage.“ A year ago while in Pirtle Hall considering which class to take for the fall, David walked up to a table labeled “Re-Engage” and said, “Why don’t we do this?” Judy later said, “I was surprised at his interest because we as a couple had been DIS-engaged.”
We were married but more like housemates who still loved each other but slept in different rooms. Before Re-Engage, there were times I considered leaving, and one evening after we were having a disagreement, David got quiet, and I realized he was praying. That moment changed my heart.”
Judy hates divorce and the life-long scars it leaves on the children. “During Re-Engage, I realized our periodic separations due to David’s work schedule had reawakened the feelings I had as a child of being left alone to handle my problems by myself” she says. “When he suggested we do the Re-Engage class, I was surprised and pessimistic… reluctant, but willing to follow his lead. Doing our homework, writing our answers, and sharing them before we came to class opened up our communication, taught us new skills, and reawakened our love for each other.”
David adds, “During Re-Engage, I learned that I can’t fix anyone else and I just needed to draw a circle and work on myself. Through a lot of introspection, I discovered a lot of my problems with disconnected emotions were feelings that I had stuffed away while growing up and being prideful even when I was wrong. We are so glad that we participated in Re-Engage. The class has restored the intimacy we once had, and we’re closer than we have been in a long time.
David and Judy have been members of Marvin for two years this month. As David explains, “Our journey with Marvin started earlier than that. We were searching for a new church home in the summer of 2022, and Kara and Jonathan Story had already invited Judy to sing with the Marvin Choir during that year.”
We were married but more like housemates who still loved each other but slept in different rooms. Before Re-Engage, there were times I considered leaving, and one evening after we were having a disagreement, David got quiet, and I realized he was praying. That moment changed my heart.”
Judy hates divorce and the life-long scars it leaves on the children. “During Re-Engage, I realized our periodic separations due to David’s work schedule had reawakened the feelings I had as a child of being left alone to handle my problems by myself” she says. “When he suggested we do the Re-Engage class, I was surprised and pessimistic… reluctant, but willing to follow his lead. Doing our homework, writing our answers, and sharing them before we came to class opened up our communication, taught us new skills, and reawakened our love for each other.”
David adds, “During Re-Engage, I learned that I can’t fix anyone else and I just needed to draw a circle and work on myself. Through a lot of introspection, I discovered a lot of my problems with disconnected emotions were feelings that I had stuffed away while growing up and being prideful even when I was wrong. We are so glad that we participated in Re-Engage. The class has restored the intimacy we once had, and we’re closer than we have been in a long time.
David and Judy have been members of Marvin for two years this month. As David explains, “Our journey with Marvin started earlier than that. We were searching for a new church home in the summer of 2022, and Kara and Jonathan Story had already invited Judy to sing with the Marvin Choir during that year.”